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DOCTRINE OF ECLIPSE

CONSTITUTION AND DOCTRINE-

Emanates directly from Article 13(1) of the Constitution that is part of the FR & states,

(1) All laws in force in the territory of India immediately before the commencement of this Constitution, in so far as they are inconsistent with the provisions of this Part, shall, to the extent of such inconsistency, be void.

(2) The State shall not make any law which takes away or abridges the rights conferred by this Part and any law made in contravention of this clause shall, to the extent of the contravention, be void.

(3) In this article, unless the context otherwise requires,—

       (a) “law” includes any Ordinance, order, bye-law, rule, regulation, notification, custom or usage having in the territory of India the force of law;

       (b) “laws in force” includes laws passed or made by a Legislature or other competent authority in the territory of India before the commencement of this Constitution and not previously repealed, notwithstanding that any such law or any part thereof may not be then in operation either at all or in particular areas.

(4) Nothing in this article shall apply to any amendment of this Constitution made under article 368.

SALIENT FEATURES /ELEMENTS

•It should be Pre-constitutional law cases

•Not applicable to post-constitutional laws, as they are invalid since their inception and cannot be validated even by any corresponding amendment.

•Must be in conflict with fundamental right

•The law is not null or void ab initio, but only inoperative. The inconsistency/conflict can be removed by constitutional amendment, making the impugned law operative.

EVOLUTION OF THE DOCTRINE OF ECLIPSE

•Judiciary is the guardian of rights provided for in the Constitution. •Judiciary should restrain the actions of the Legislature and the Executive where they are infringing upon these rights. •There were several existing laws at the time when the Constitution was adopted, some of which were in direct conflict with fundamental rights. •To determine the validity of these laws the Supreme Court came up with some doctrines, like the Doctrine of Eclipse.

CASE LAWS

Keshavan Madhavan Menon v. State of Bombay 1951 S.C.R. 228

Bhikaji And Others vs  State of M.P., AIR 1955 S.C. 781

SHANKARI PRASAD CASE (1951) 

KESAVANANDA BHARATI CASE (1973)

THE PRE AND POST-CONSTITUTIONAL LAWS

The doctrine of eclipse does not apply to post-constitutional laws.

DEEP CHAND V. STATE OF U.P.-  The SC held that post-constitutional law made under Article 13(2) which contravenes a fundamental right is nullity from its inception and a still-born law. It is void ab intio.

STATE OF GUJRAT V AMBICA MILLS- The SC modified the above view and stated that a post constitutional law which is inconsistent with the fundamental rights is not nullity or non-existent in all cases and for all purposes.

EXCEPTION TO POST CONSTITUTIONAL LAW

A post-constitution law which infringes right conferred by Article 19 operated as regards to non-citizens as fundamental rights not available to non-citizens.

Such a law will become void or non-existent only against citizens because fundamental rights are available only for citizens.

CONCLUSION

•fundamental rights as prospective in nature.

•pre-constitutional law inconsistent with the fundamental rights is not a nullity or void ab initio but only remains unenforceable , in dormant state.

•exist for all past transactions i.e., for rights and liabilities that were acquired before the Constitution came into being.

•applicable to individuals who have not been given fundamental rights, for example, non-citizens. •impugned law remains hidden behind the fundamental rights and becomes operative again if and when the FR it is inconsistent with is amended

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The Mystic: ascetic or sensual

Riya had her seventeenth birthday yesterday. I was to join the celebration today for reasons I had no inkling. I even skipped my lunch yesterday for her party I was expecting, but it was not to be.

I took the bottle packed beautifully in pink velvet, lace and ribbon immaculately tied into a bow. I was sure Riya would be delighted to open it, to cheer her bubbly and sparkling persona.

I reached The Orchid hall. The brilliance of candles and flowers reflected her gleaming face. How I admired the way she conducted herself, just opposite to my tomboyish traits. All the boys and also us girls were envious of how she left everyone admiring her, both the inner and outer self. All the time spent in her company left us seeking for more. I was actually proud to be her best friend in college.

“Hi Shikha! was waiting for you. Now I am ready to hit the floor. Come fast.” Ria ran towards me

“Yeah! Riya, was waiting since yesterday. Know what, I even skipped my lunch for the party.”

“Had no option dearie, you know it was Monday.”

“So what? Today’s Tuesday. Just any day. What’s wrong with Monday then, Riya?”

“Oh, it was my fast. I have started fasting on Monday.”

“Achcha, for a perfect husband” I teased her. “You will anyway get a tdh guy Ria.”

“Oh no, not that.” She countered. “It’s just a day of fasting, it’s healthy you know.” She glowed pink. “It’s only a chance that I chose Monday. Nothing more. I postponed the party to enjoy full without any restraint.”

At night I kept brooding over the fact that why is it we fast, most girls on Monday. Maybe not consciously to please Lord Shiva. Maybe it’s just something ingrained in them since they see the world.

Yet, isnt it an antithesis. Fasting for One who accepts all. Seeking the One who belongs to none, and yet is for all. Desiring the One as a family man who is an ascetic.

It’s this, I seek to explore. It’s this I seek to discuss. It’s this I set out to comprehend. Though it’s kiddish, for sure.

Do let me know.

Our heroes…

Salute to our shining stars

Our heroes….proud of their achievements.

Are they heroes for a day or forever? How many of us would have them as our role models and emulate them?

Are we failing our non cricket sportsmen? Let’s take a look at the ground level. Stay with me.

VAIDEHI- dream life with Rama

Bliss in togetherness

Ayodhya was a city of dreams. Affluent yet dignified. It smelt freshness. It will usher a vibrant and content life for me. First time, I was in relations which were socially acceptable. No doubts raised, no questions asked. I was in my own space.

My joy was superfluous as Urmila was also with me. She was the bride of Lakshmana, the more aggressive and sturdy looking younger brother of Rama. We were on top of the world.

Reminiscing, I wonder how soon girls forget their own world, their ambitions, dreams and desires so as to confirm to the world of their husbands.

I too left my visions of a warrior in Mithila and accepted my new role wholeheartedly.

Rama was all that I could ever ask for a husband. In the times of polygamy, when marriage was a tool for empire building, he pledged being loyal to me lifelong, being devoted husband and an equal partner.

The game of swayamwar had brought the trophy to its rightful owner. Girls were to be owned, by father, husband or son. I was owned by the one I was proud of. He was ‘the ideal man’.

I was showered with praise, love and affection in my new home.

We shared similar values and beliefs. Like my parents, he too never dictated on me. My in laws loved me. I had three mother in law’s who adored Rama and I being his wife was showered with it too. My father in law, Dashrath was King of Ayodhya. He was a righteous man and loved by all. But he had special affection for my husband whom he saw as his heir to the throne. My two other brother in law’s, Bharat and Shatrughan were devoted to me on account of their reverence for the elder brother Rama. It reaffirmed that I was indeed the special one as the creator has blessed me with the most loving family. My husband was to be announced the formal heir to the throne of Ayodhya the next day. Exuberance was omniscient. It was a dream come true.

Dreams are like bubbles, colourful and free, but vanish the moment you touch. Aren’t they? The next day will be a new day.

 The next day will be a new day.

The air was stifled, the faces tensed. My clairvoyance warned misfortune. Every nerve stressed but nobody said anything to me. Sleep was obliterated. Time has lost track. The night was at its darkest, so it must have been close to the dawn, when I heard slow paced footsteps of my beloved. My sapience perceived reluctance in his entering the room. How strange? What happened? A myriad questions bombarded me in an instant.

It was love, adulation, respect. We were two like bodies and one soul.

He set his foot in, came close, held my hand and floundered for words. It’s seemed eternity when he feigned calm and whispered “My Vaidehi, I am sorry.” My eyes overflowed. No idea of what would follow. I held my breath.

“I have to leave you for fourteen years, my dear. I am going to Dandak van.” he announced peturbed but firm.

“Why? What have I done? Please do not desert me” I sobbed, demented

“No, it’s not you. Baba wishes Bharat to ascend the throne and I leave for forest for fourteen years. I have accepted his wish. His wish is my order and I will respect it” he stated, now composed that the worst was done with me.

Unbelievable! I couldn’t believe my ears. Still too shocked to respond I lingered a while.

“I am leaving now with Lakshman for the Dandak forest. You stay here comfortably and serve my maa- baba, who would be heartbroken.”

“No, I don’t quite comprehend what you say, but I am confident that I will be with you, whatsoever.” I was astonished by the sterness in my voice. The warrior in me probably found a voice for the first time in life. Rama was startled too. Never had he heard me in this tone.

“No my dear! Life in a jungle can be very tough and trying. You have been the privileged child, who lived a complacent life. I cannot have you go through it.” Rama sounded more perplexed.

I felt like the baby abandoned in the fields at birth. Hurt at the fact that decisions were again taken without my consent or even participation. But this time I would not surrender. The security of the bond between me and Rama empowered me to give my verdict in voice of steel.

“Please don’t be inordinate. Please. It’s dangerous. Maa baba would also be very lonely. You all stay here and the time would just fly off.” He reiterated, more formally as if he knew it would be futile.

“An order for you includes me also. I am a integral part of you, inseperable. We are body and soul. So, I revere the command of baba. It will be enforced in word and spirit.” I thought aloud.

I stayed quite, tears flowing unbridled, but firm. I would not be abandoned again. I knew I was strong to bear it and I was ready for the repercussions. It was my dharma, my duty.

Rama being my soulmate saw the futility of any further discussions and relented. Now, in hindsight I ponder if it was submission to my wish, test of my strength or foresight of tomorrow.

I felt an unprecedented gush of power, power that comes from grit, determination and conviction. I had my decision assented to and implemented by everyone. Rare accomplishment for me, who was caught in the web of emotional and social turmoils.

But trust me, it was not too arduous. I had to prove that I was a true consort to the one I loved and admire the most.

We left for the forest at dawn, in simple clothes, barefooted. Rama, me and Lakshmana. Urmila had consented to Lakshmana request and stayed behind.

The city of dreams was left behind for chaste and persevering life with Rama, in forests, as true soulmates.

Marriage – sacred or sacrifice

Do you believe this. Is it the foundation of a successful marriage?

Do you think that marriage is a sacred bond of trust and equality?

“The revered couple of Sia Ram was a successful one for both partners.” What’s your opinion? Should it prescribe the ideals of marriage in contemporary times?

Do follow my series on ‘Who wants to be Vaidehi’.

My perception, from Vaidehi’s frame of reference.

WHO WANTS TO BE VAIDEHI…

Vaidehi swayamwar…dawn of a new life with Rama

Swayamwar of Vaidehi and Ram

Next chapter of my life was already written before I could finish the previous one. I was drowned in the feat of playfully lifting the pinaka. I was dreaming about its ramifications. I was doubtless that it would lead to my being acknowledged as a warrior, promoted for warfare trainings.

How lost I was in my own monologues that I didn’t hear the silent whispers of the unpredictable! My family had distinct exposition. “As I was extraordinary, I deserved the most accomplished life-partner.” I wanted to be rewarded. Yes, I was. My reward was my swayamwar, a ceremony where a bride chooses her groom. Of course, prize is decided by the giver, not receiver. Is it not?

I came out of the trance. I had to choose my groom, not my vocation.

With my sword, I tried to sketch the image of my groom. I closed my eyes and attempted to replace the image of pinaka with that of a young man. However hard I endeavoured, it was not possible.

Later, I knew that even this endeavour was not mandatory. The conditions for my swayamwar were not to be drafted by me, rather only to be accepted by me. My dexterity appealed for equal competence. So my parents decided that whosoever could lift pinaka deserved me for a bride. I failed to comprehend how the lifting of pinaka assured a loving and supportive life partner.

Rama breaks the bow, Pinaka

I understood that a husband needs to be a partner, one who respects and admires your skills, desires and ambitions. Someone who knows your mind and heart. Now, I knew better. A skilled warrior, maybe the best, will be my friend, guide, partner: my husband.

As my parents knew better and I was as adopted one, I trusted them. They never ordered me, always discussed with me, but I always took their wishes as directions and conceded. It was me, wanting to be the best daughter.

The effect was, the entry of Rama in my life. I saw him first in a spring decorated garden when I went worshipping Mahadev temple.

I was attracted to him. I felt drugged by the persona. But I hesitated, as he was a stranger, an ascetic. I was experiencing an unknown emotion. That night I dreamt of him. The first fantasy which was beyond bows, arrows and swords.

The next day was my swyamvar, where I had no choice to choose my groom. I dragged myself to the splendidly decorated hall which had possibly the most eligible bachelors of the world. I was obligated by the enormous planning and efforts of my father. Again, I felt guilty of doubt.

Suddenly He was there!

In the audience, an ascetic with his guru was seated. The moment I set my eyes on him, I saw his radiant face, and my eyelids drooped. I suddenly forget the pinaka, the sword and only prayed to Mahadev.

“If it has to be this way, please let MY ascetic be victorious.” I kept praying my eyes shut tight, heart jumping out of my chest.

The chaos suddenly gave way to silence. I felt gloom in my adorable father’s voice. ” I feel shattered that in this sabha of the most wealthy and strong kings, none is worthy of my daughter.” He announced, dejected.

I was heartbroken. I had wanted this since eternity. Yet, I was perplexed at myself.

Shockingly, an ascetic shouted back, as if insulted by my father’s words. ” My elder brother will do you proud, King Janak”.

Again I was back in the game. The trophy was back in the arena. It was won by the one who had already stolen my heart a day before.

The pinaka was broken as Rama lifted it. My journey of life took a new turn. A long one, I visioned hand in hand with Rama, who would love, regard, appreciate and understand me . We were finally married to be together, forever.

Or so I fancied

Giving Up? Think again…

Sounds simple….try…

The traffic jams make me repel rains, when I look at the fresh and beautiful trees, thriving fields, I just adore it, rather am indebted to it.

It’s all in the perspective. Is the glass half full or half empty?

It’s all upto us

Vaidehi- prior to Rama

Vaidehi

In this series on Vaidehi, I am exploring the subdued and multidimensional character of Vaidehi or Devi Sita. We all know she had a turbulent life. Though a central character in the epic, Ramayana, her own psyche and persona remains an enigma and is never elaborated. The epic is in reverence of King Rama and Vaidehi is worshipped as his consort. So, I reflect on her life before Rama came in her life, their life together, and life after they separated. This is my attempt to enter her mind and soul.

KIng of Mithila, Raja Janak discovers Vaidehi

“You are born special.  You are the daughter of Mother Earth or Bhoomi devi, an incarnation of Goddess of wealth and prosperity, Lakshmi.”

I opened my eyes in this world alone and abandoned, the harshness of soil brushing against my delicate skin. I craved for soft and loving human touch.  My wait ended when King of Mithila, Janak and Queen Sunaina discovered me while ploughing the fields for a yajna. They adopted me, loved me and elevated a foundling like me to a royal princess. They gave me my name, SITA, meaning a furrow. This name was to be a lifelong reminder to me of being a forsaken baby to me, so I prefer being Vaidehi.

My foster parents were convinced that I will be a harbinger of prosperity and fertility,  and somehow my naïve self  believed it too. My father Janaka had earned the sobriquet Videha due to his ability to transcend body consciousness; and thus I got the name Vaidehi.

My parents adored me like their own daughter and maybe even more. Both of them were virtuous and devout but had no child. They yearned for an offspring, and I seemed to be their desire fulfilled. I too was eager for a sibling and our wish was answered with the birth of Urmila, my parents biological daughter and my lifelong companion. I was still adored and applaused more than Urmila, which amplified my guilt and obligations manifold. An unworthy destitute snatching adulation of the deserving one, I still believe.

A little older, I could see the question in the eyes of all subjects about my parents and descent. Many stories of my origin had been circulating in the people, but nothing was publicised. Some of the promulgations were that I had divine origin or was a daughter of Mother Earth, Reincarnation of Vedavati or even daughter of Ravana abandoned by his wife Mandodari. All theories were in the air. But being a princess had its own privileges, thus no queries ever reached the palace. I remained an epitome of goodness.

I emulated my father’s compassion and empathy which shielded all my other personality traits. I always intended to hide in his shadow. My courage, determination, resilience and administration was often overlooked. My prudence and consideration were regarded as subservient and meek. Though I was over indulged and pampered, yet my parents were never stereo typed and gave me ample freedom and opportunity to flourish my interests, abilities and identity. Contrary to this, I struggled to be their reflections and everything they wanted a daughter to be. Maybe, I think, my hesitation and diffidence had the upper hand.

My parents seeded both traditional and contemporary values in me. I also tried my best to please everyone. Maybe it had its roots in my gratitude for being adopted and being loved even more than Urmila, their biological daughter. I never exhibited my innate desire to be a part of cavalry, learn warfare and be a protector. I camouflaged all these ponderings, though it was never restricted by my parents, and moulded myself into the conventional role of a daughter.

Vaidehi playing with Pinaka

It was one incident I remember which manifested my potence and power. I was always attracted towards weapons like bows and arrows. One day I  playfully I lifted a fancy and divinely beautiful bow contemplating it to be a toy but it created a furore. Later, I was to know that it was Shiva Dhanush Pinaka, holy bow of Lord Shiva.  No man had ever been able to even move it, and here I was frolicking with it.

I hoped that my valour would now be recognized. I would be able to renounce my insecurities and acknowledge my passion to be a great warrior. But it was not to happen.

This incident only confirmed my celestial status. My dreams of being a fiesty samurai was replaced by my swayamwar. My parents decided that they would choose a man who would match my potential. My marriage would be solemnised to the man who could lift and string the Pinaki. This sealed my fate. It decided the course of flow of my life.

My aspirations transformed, my persona transformed. Neither I had the courage to speak my mind and grow out of the fairy world woven by my loving family nor could they unveil my cloak to see my aspirations, anguish and goals. The most cherished phase of my life was about to end.

My destiny had given the verdict to my customary and acceptable stature, with the advent of Prince Rama.

Stay with me in my swayamwar.

WHO WANTS TO BE VAIDEHI…

Understanding Vaidehi…

In this series I set to explore the character and personality of Vaidehi or Devi Sita. Was she only a submissive wife, devoted daughter and mother or did she have a personality and individuality of her own? Was she meek and abala nari? What do you think ?

VAIDEHI, or Sita, emerges as a central character in Hindu epic, Ramayana, as the consort of Lord Ram. She is worshipped as an epitome of chastity, sacrifice, purity, fertility.

But, who wants to be VAIDEHI today?

Revered as a Godess, an incarnation of Godess Lakshmi, she is portrayed as a traditional archetype of feminine beauty and grace in the Hindu religion . She is worshipped for her purity, devotion, loyalty and sacrifice, idealised for women. 

Do we ever think beyond this, about the dreams, desires, skills and pains of Vaidehi, as a woman?

Born of an unknown lineage, found discarded, nestled in a furrow, but brought up with love and then married in a swayamvar to Price of Ayodhya Ram, considered incarnation of Lord Vishnu . Her life was full of trials and tribulations.

Like any new bride she reached her husband’s homewith dreams in her eyes, only to renounce all the comforts of a queen and join her husband, Lord Ram for fourteen years of exile in dandhaka van.

In the last year of her exile she was abducted by King of Lanka, Ravana, and imprisoned in open at Ashoka Van  for eleven months. Her only solace was her faith in her husband , but she never surrendered. She was finally rescued by Rama. Her happiness was short-lived when she realized that she has to prove her chastity to the world and her loving husband.

Agni pareeksha

She underwent Agni pareeksha or ordeal of fire, which no men ever have to undergo, before she returned to Ayodha, her husband’s kingdom. This was only to be sent for another exile, that too alone, when she was pregnant. Ironically this banishment was on orders of her husband for whom she had gone for fourteen years of exile in forests.

Later, she brought up her twin sons, Luv and Kush, in Rishi Valmik ashram, where she took refuge, single handedly. They were trained as valiant and righteous individuals.

When Luv and Kush reunited with Lord Ram, she refused to return to Ayodha. She prayed to Mother Earth to accept her in her refuge and protect her from any further humiliation in this unjust and unequal world.. The Mother Earth, probably realising her agony accepted Vaidehi, and split open to take her in.

This enraged her husband Lord Ram, who threatened Mother Earth to return back his ‘beloved’ wife to him. Again, VAIDEHI had to urge Ram to let her go, maybe it was finally for the best.

All through her life, I search for moments of happiness and contentment. A devi with a life no less than a penance. Yet, she is generally worshipped as  a consort of Lord Ram and not an independent diety .

Worshipped as consort of Lord Ram

This was the extraordinary life of Vaidehi. Who went to the forest with her husband by choice and only to be denounced later by him again, even after she passed  Agnipariksha.

Who wants to emulate her life today?

MY OWN JUNGLE

Hi, this is my gratitude to all who pits in my way. Planting seeds in those pits gave me a healthy and enriching jungle of my own. Ever fruitful and eliminating any possibility of pit diggers to fall in it themselves. Isn’t it positive.

My own garden of love and forgiveness ❤️❤️

True luxuries…

Today was a different discussion altogether.

Luxury at its best

Me and Aryaa, my adolescent daughter, often indulged in petty to sermonic arguements. But today I had something perplexing in mind. Something I had being unwillingly brooding over for a long time now.

I had always motivated Aryaa to work hard with diligence to be successful and have a flourishing career. Many a times I even  contrasted the lives of  economically deprived and  the multibillionaires. Of course, it was only to motivate her and drill in her that a few more years of hard work would guarantee a luxurious, comfortable and affluent lifestyle, we middle class often dream of.  I am sure you must have done it too.

Success is luxury…

But not today. Today I planned debate on a completely new perspective. I had to project life in a distinct light. I desired to acknowledge to her that the pictures I had painted in her impressionable mind since her birth had been a fallacy. I had been wrong. But I couldn’t force myself to accept it in front of her.

Yet, I confessed to Aryaa that the pandemic actually forced me to realise that their life could be far more challenging than I anticipated. The future is now more unpredictable and unforeseen than ever. It may be concealing plethora of unfavourable and unimaginable situations, like this pandemic. It is more important to be ready for the worst than for comfort.

“I have always encouraged you to study hard to earn luxuries in life so that you have a comfortable life. But now, I feel you have to prepare to be strong, ready to face challenges, learn life skills to be happy and contribute to making others happy too. Live and love your life and your loved ones.” I summarised.

Family…spend quality time together

Considering her silence for acquiescence I continued, “Aryaa, I want you to reassess your dreams and desires afresh. We have seen that affluence cannot buy you many true luxuries in life. The fond memories, happiness of helping others, love or life. Not even a few more breaths of life than destined.”

Surprisingly, she did not contradict. Maybe the pandemic, loss of life and livelihoods had created upheaval on her adolescent day dreamy mind.

” We both deliberated and conceived infinite dreams of going on a world trip together, staying at luxury resorts, designer dresses and cuisines etc. to enjoy life to the fullest. But life is not as beautiful as I painted. Remember my darling, that true luxury is Nature and your loved ones who make you happy. Cherish them, revere nature, for if you don’t, it won’t respect you.”

“Your future holds enormous dangers, probable scarcities too. Water, air, land, food which we take for granted today might be the true luxuries. Virus and many such unforeseen and camouflaged dangers may lie ahead. Be ready my dear, equip yourself for these too, for mankind seems to be lost in the race for development, without quite understanding it.”

True luxury… Respect it before it’s too late

And, it was for once, Aryaa, the fierce debater remained silent, maybe reassessing life and its priorities. I feel we all should. What kind of future we are leaving for the coming generations? We have failed to preserve what we inherited, and yet no repentance. Don’t we need to realize our true treasure, our true luxuries, which lie in the lap of nature.

REIGNITE RELATIONS- REKINDLE THAT SPARK

SO LOVE FOR YOURSELF AND NOT FOR SOMEONE ELSE

Yesterday, in scorching summer, I made a refreshing lemonade, but, it tasted bitter. Reluctantly, I had to discard it. Now, either I could make it again or just drop the idea of a cool lemonade. Feeling super exhausted, I opted for the latter.

The fatigue was enormous due to long working hours in hot and humid weather. But actually I realized it was more due to a silent war for last fee days with Sanju, my love of life, my husband. Dejected, I left the lemonade, opted for bed with AC switched on.

Soon, my eyes closed, but sleep was nowhere near. Thoughts drifted a week back when our cold war commenced. It was nothing serious, but his response made it so. “He never gives heed to how I wanted the things to be”. I lamented.

Even after more than a decade of being together, he did everything his own way. “I take care of all his needs, of his house and kids, but he is never bothered enough.” He was always lively, lightheaded and casual in approach unlike me, who was meticulous and cautious.

It all started when I asked him to put back his shoes in the shoe rack before going for his Corona safety bath. He was just back from office and despite my repeated warnings each day, he still left his shoes at the door saying  “After my bath dear. Keep my tea ready.” The result was: the tea lost its sweetness.

And this was it. Haven broke loose. The peace of the house gone in a blink. The next is a war of egos, “Who talks first?”” Who was wrong?” This endless monologue drained all life and liveliness. We were both drifting in the silence of egos.

In our initial years together, he would apologize to me and promise to mend his ways. Maybe to please me. Now, even this did not happen and he had conceded his inability to comply.

Just then I was reminded of my lemonade gone bitter and I cursed my destiny again. But suddenly, a voice screamed within, as it often had, that it was my fault. I pressed the lemon too tight. Still, I wished it to taste sweet. Just like my marriage.

I refused to listen and accept. The lemon screeched back again that I have been squeezing all flavour of our relationship to the extent that it became bitter. It was like loving Sanjay an agreement. In return I expect obligation and acquiescence with me. I forgot that I care for Sanju because I love him and not vice versa.

The lemonade illustrated the recipe for a sweet relationship, any relationship. Loving is not expecting, extracting and demanding. It’s all about giving.  We love a person by our choice and not persuasion. Love is sweet only when it has our choicest flavours. Then we can cherish it for a lifetime. Our flavours are best for us and not others, so why this pervasive demand for their acceptance.

I reinforced myself to accept the cocktail of all flavours, accept them, mingle them, create new continental platters

Have we ever thought that why we don’t advise strangers, are not angry or disappointed at them. We assume its because we don’t love them. But it is a myth. It’s because we don’t expect from them. We don’t extract from them.

I accepted that my care and concern for Sanju is not a trade, rather, it’s because I love him. I love him because I want to be with him, happily. It’s my choice. So, I can not demand. I have to give. It makes me happy when others are happy. I can make them happy only when I am happy. A bitter lemonade taught me a lesson.

I vowed for making myself happy and contented. This is the route to have my relationship healthy, loving, smiling and eternal.

Cheers to my flavoursome cocktail of acceptance and flexibility. Cheers to you all. Let’s rekindle our relationships, life is short.

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